"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
