alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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