my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
