I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize