I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
At least make sure they are 18
Why
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
