this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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