What a fucking waste of an outfit
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
