Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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