grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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