guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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