There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I need moral support for this bender
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
