i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
