How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
