dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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