Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
