idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
