Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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