Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
