I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
