Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
