please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize