i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
This baby is an asshole
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize