wake up i wanna do it froggy style
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
