haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
