please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Randomize
