He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
