I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
