doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
