pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize