Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
