I must be too annoying 4 u.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
