Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Im part way to drunk.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
