I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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