The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
