In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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