i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
