There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
