How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
