You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
