I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize