i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
