hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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