just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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