I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
