so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
