We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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