I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
