Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Sext me about skeletons
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
