If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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