Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Its about making memories worth repressing
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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