I wanna bring you to show and tell
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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