An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
