Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
