It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
