The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
