Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
