And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
