That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
