How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
