btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
