You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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