You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
