When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
