Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
