it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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