One girl and one boy is just not enough.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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