I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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