its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
