I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
