Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
