Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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