Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I don't think brook has ever known best
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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