Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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