probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
try to milk me bitch
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
