she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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