come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
