like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
